Ann Coulter devours kitten onstage

(Austin, TX) Author and outspoken right-wing pundit Ann Coulter was greeted with cheers at a speaking engagement at the University of Texas, December 14 2006, after she devoured a live kitten onstage.

Coulter, 45, spoke to a sold-out audience at this particular stop on a tour promoting her new book, "The Joy of My Face." Coulter began with a series of polemical remarks against the newly elected Democratic majority in Congress, after which she led the audience through a Powerpoint presentation on the same subject. At the conclusion of the three slide presentation, a stage hand brought a cardboard box from behind Coulter and placed it at her feet.

Coulter reached into the box and withdrew a tawny kitten, to many fond "oohs" and "ahhs" from the audience. Coulter then raised the kitten above her head and shouted "This is what your spineless liberal Congress will do to your country!" Amidst a crescendo of mingled fear and shock from the onlookers, she lowered the small cat to her mouth and bit into its back. As the kitten struggled in her hands, the conservative pundit rent flesh from its flanks and chewed heartily, mouthing unintelligible words during the act. After approximately two minutes of chewing on the kitten, Coulter let its lifeless body fall to the stage.

Coulter was lauded by a standing ovation and deafening applause from the crowd of four hundred before she exited the stage with the deceased kitten. Marjorie Daniels of Austin commented "Ann's got guts, and she sure knows how to show them! I'm glad I brought my kids with me to see her, she's so inspirational."

Coulter is slated to speak in four Texas locations over the next week, though it is unclear whether she will repeat the act.

"It really shows a lot of courage to do what she did and I admire her for it," stated Amelia Salisbury, a mother of four who attended the speech. Coulter was unavailable for comment. - Agaric

The above story was created purely for mockery purposes and no kitten was harmed during the creation of the story.

With regards to previous riddle...

I had promised an answer for my last riddle (Dec 10, 2006) and dutifully I should keep it. My apologies for not posting it earlier but hey... I said "stay tuned for the answer" and did not mention "soon" anywhere in that sentence. Haha, okay all right, here it is.

The court jester should reply that he is going to get beheaded. Think about it. If he gets beheaded, his statement becomes true but he should only get beheaded if his statement is false according to the king's conditions. Whereas if he gets hanged, his statement becomes false which must not happen because he ought to be hanged only if his statement is true. Either way there is a problem.

Hence, for the king to avoid himself from getting contradicted and reward the man for his timely wit, the king releases him. There you go.

All right, another riddle (I like doing this).

Imagine being locked up in a cell. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. Jumping up does not help to reach the window. Tunneling out will take too long a time. Considering that the window and tunneling are the only two options available to escape, how will you go about doing it?